Monday, November 12, 2007

Robin Hood on the Streets of Chicago

Everyone has heard the classic fairy tale of Robin Hood, the gentle woodsman with a heart gold who gives to the poor, associates with merry men and is a deadly marksman. As a child, the cartoon version adapted by Disney in 1973 was among my favorite animated stories. As I grew older, I watched several adaptions. ( The Adventures of Robin Hood, 1938; Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves 1991; Robin Hood: Men in Tights, 1993 are among my favorites) And, so have grown to know the story quite well, as has most of America's population.

When you conjure the picture of the classic Robin of Loxley to mind, you end up with a general outline of a man wearing a smock ( probably green) and tights ( or very tight pants) over which there are a pair of boots to the knees. The colors usually range from green to brown, to perhaps even grey. ( The classic Adventures of Robin Hood star Errol Flynn pictured above)

While I will not dare say that Robin Hood is the most fashionable of all the fairy tale heroes, it is fair to say that he is reasonably dressed for his lifestyle. He needs clothing which allows him to swing from ropes and jump from tree to tree easily, as well as providing his feet with sufficient coverage for the terrain of the forest. His smock, tights and boots provide him with everything he needs.

So tell me, why are all the women wandering Chicago's trendy Magnificent Mile dressed as though they are the long lost members of the merry men? Can I believe that modern day fashion designers have started to rely on classic fairy tales for inspiration?

Bridget Moynahan, Sandra Bullock and The Hills' Heidi Montag were all recently spotted wearing a gray sweater dress. Whether worn with leggings or skinny jeans and boots (bare legged is a bit tougher to pull off), this is a chic look that virtually anyone can wear

Each time I pass She-Robin Hood on the street, I have to resist the urge to ask her to demonstrate her archery skills, or inquire as to the whereabouts of the fun-loving friar, or better yet, direct her to the nearest begging homeless person so that she may give her acquired riches to the poor.

I have been waiting for you to get to these ridiculous Merrymen wannabes.. I almost wished that you would've made mention to the Robinhooders' that have the tassle'yish, testiclesque fur balls dangling on them as well.. I wonder if they really think these boots are cool.. How do these chicks walk around with confidence when everyone has to be laughing at them..
oh, this reminds me, when are the oversized transition tinted seventies glasses going to die? Maybe there will be some heckling of these sad cases as well..


The Critic said...

sweet jesus yes. what did maid marian wear again?

current fashion trends are good for one thing and that is apparently a larf. those oversized sunglasses, how can people not remember the 70s?

robin hood said...

Hey, wait a minute. I was nowhere near Chicago today. Never ventured out of the forest.

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