Friday, September 26, 2008

Things Great Dane Puppies Do Not Like

1.) Carts of any variety including: shopping carts pushed by can collecting Mexicans, or nomadic homeless park people. Utility carts full of groceries by everyday city folk. Postal service carts are the definition of doom. Obnoxious, over-sized baby strollers.. you know the kind with power windows, six cup holders, air condition, seats three kids up to nine years old.

2.) Backpacks. This one is a new one. We now take our walks a half hour to forty-five minutes after I return from class. This way the various school kids from the five surrounding schools are pretty much gone, and he can comfortably keep tempo during his dopey, horse-like head bobbing stroll. He has also been known to bark fearfully at people carrying boxes, or any other large object that makes its carrier appear out of proportion.

3.) Hoods. In dog mentality, a person with a hood is essentially what a cobra looks like to us, or so I've gathered through my research. I believe he thinks it is an issue of proportion, and when I ask him later what is wrong, he states that the neck of whichever offender was protruding out from the sides, and that they were scary. *We talk to each other a lot* He does not trust anyone in over sized baggy clothes as well which is unfortunate because some folks out there still think hip-hop/rap is cool. It's the disco of the nineties that just won't go away. Rock&Roll sucka'!

4.) The music when Jaws is about to strike. No explanation needed.


Thursday, September 11, 2008

Curtis, thanks for the wine. As you might have noticed from the picture, I was unable to find the F'in bottle opener/cork remover anywhere therefore my means of procuring my poison had to take on a different approach. I recently heard an old expression that fits this scenario, "a man should use whatever tool it takes to effectively do the job". This is probably the most white trash thing I've done in ten minutes.
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