Happiness

When we were young, happiness was pure and simple. The magic of Christmas made us happy, the brand new toy made us cheer, and birthday parties made us hyper and frantically overwhelmed with joy. Riding your bike for the first time down that big hill-- that rush of air-- guarantee you did it with a huge grin on your face. Being truly and purely happy was easy.

But somewhere along the way you realize happiness is much more complex. Now, you can be overwhelmed with joy in one part of your life, but down trodden in another. As an adult, you find yourself in situations where you are completely unhappy while at the same time overwhelmed with joy. It's a strange feeling-- this happiness thing.

Asking someone if they are happy is a trick question now. Are you happy?... Where do I begin?

Am I happy with the Earth? Not really. We (the human race) have systematically destroyed it. We are losing our natural resources and squandering our clean air, water and food supply. I would be happier with the Earth perhaps if people hadn't interfered. Thus, I guess I am unhappy with you-- World People. We have ruined everything and globally we all act like jackasses. No, I am not happy with the World.

Am I happy with America? No. America disgusts me. Those World People I was unhappy with-- way to to America you are the biggest jackass. Our government is destroying our country, our livelihood for most Americans, and we just clearly do not give a shit about anyone or anything except money. America-- No, I am not happy with you.

Am I happy with the Mid West? Sometimes. In the summer the Mid West is ok. But these are my roots and Ohio, Illinois, I can't help but love you a little.

Am I happy with Chicago? YES! I finally feel at home, this city has given me everything it promised. I love you a little more each day (especially when it gets warmer) Chicago. My state of mind has never been so... steady. Chicago I love you and I am certainly happy with you!  My life here has been fantastic and continues improving every day. Chicago-- you're my kind of town!

Am I happy with my relationships, family and love? Ah, there's a good question. As friendships go, I am happy with those I have, but unhappy with the fact that I don't have many local friends. Hopefully this will change -- its a work in progress. Family-- of course I am happy -- how could I not be? I have a wonderful supportive family and am in the process of joining an inspiring loving second-family. But family is complicated, isn't it? Overall I can be happy, but still on a day to day basis cry myself to sleep because someone is hurt, I've disappointed someone or I can't understand something someone said/done. And love-- I can't even put into words how happy David has made me. It is a strange feeling to realize that you are so connected to another person you literally cannot live without them. And, there's always that love of a good cup of coffee.  *wink wink.

So, what does this all mean? Am I happy? Fundamentally, yes. I am happy with the things in my life that I have control over, and the things that matter.I am happy with who I am, and where I am and who I will be and where I will be someday.  But, I can't help wanting a little taste of that pure child-like joy. So, World, America, Mid West, Chicago, Friends, Family and Love-- KARMA!-- let's make a deal--

 Let the Blackhawks win (the next 4 games).