Common Sense University

We hire interns in my office to assist us with research, marketing and presentations, as well as usual intern stuff like coffee runs and filing. We post at prestigious schools in the greater Chicago area, and have a g.p.a. stipulation of 3.75 or above. We have a small, laid back office which provides these interns with the ability to be flexible, work with top executives and really get to learn something. Plus, we pay them. In return, all I ask is for 2 things: 1. respect 2. do the work we are asking you to do. Seems simple, right?

But I have noticed an interesting trend. Students who don't quite make the g.p.a. cut off, and/or are from the "less" prestigious schools make better interns. They listen to me, they respect the positions of all the members of our team, they ask intelligent questions, and they complete the work to the best of their ability. The super students from top-tier schools with amazing test scores and off the chart g.p.a's have continually let me down.

Oscar Wilde said, " Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."

I can't help but be reminded of this, of how important common sense is in real life every time I am faced with intern blunders I can't understand. Below are some common examples, keep in mind that these are not examples of ONE intern, but many, and have occurred multiple times, all from excellent students from a top school.



1.Paper/Folder Sizes: I cannot count how many times I have had to explain and even demonstrate with examples the difference between letter size paper/folders and legal size paper/folders. Countless times I have a letter size hanging folder in my left hand, and a legal size in my right, and have to lay them on top of each other to demonstrate the difference.


2. Alphabetical Order: At what point did we stop learning the order of the alphabet? "W" comes after "P" and "Pr" before "Pu". I don't even have words to describe how annoying this is.

3. 3 Hole Punch Operation: There is a fancy machine made to punch holes in a piece of paper, you literally slide the piece of paper into the side, then push down, and Presto! 3 holes! Ok, let's go over it again, you slide the piece of paper in... in the front... until it stops.... ok, you press down... no, keep the paper there while you press down.... *sigh

4. Binder Construction: We have given you a stack of paper, every 15 or so pages there is a blank sheet on which we have written the title of the section. We have handed you tabs, a 3 ring binder and the 3 hole punch (that hopefully you remember how to use now). Your instructions: put this in the binder, the names on the blank pages are the names of the tabs. It is already in order. Yet, 20 mins (yes 20!!) later, you bring me the binder, and extra pages.

5. Answering the Phone: We are a business, this is not your cell phone, "hello?" doesn't cut it.

6. Proof Reading: Occasionally we ask for help proof reading final documents. First of all, it's a giveaway that you didn't read it closely if it only took you 10 mins to finish a dense 100+ page document. Secondly, in your scouring, you missed: " The company has one several awards" you will not be asked to proof again. As a side note of proofing: for the love of everything holy, do not turn in a presentation to me that you clearly have never read. I hate re-doing your work.

7. Punctuality vs. Punctuation: Me: "I'd like you to work on your punctuality" Intern: "Yeah, I need to work on my comma placement"

8. Calls to Clients:Occasionally we ask interns to assist in database updates, sometimes this means calling to get updated contact information. If your list a. hasn't been approved and b. contains the names of our CURRENT clients... please do not call them.

9. Ask Questions Related to the Work: I get it, you are here to learn. But, I need you here to do your work, so stop asking me tons of questions about something you recently learned in class, UNLESS IT RELATES to the project you are supposed to be working on.

10. Galloping: I don't get the running/galloping up and down the hall, is it to save time, be more efficient? Are your gchat friends and solitaire cards not going to be at your desk when you return from down the hall?

11. Time Sheets: I hate to break it to you, but you are not getting away with anything, I know full well that you sat in the conference room playing solitaire and chatting with your friends all day, listing 8 hours for the day on updating a presentation is ludicrous, especially since I had to re-do the whole thing. Also, you didn't work on Labor Day, or Christmas or New Years Eve.

When I bring things to your attention, all I ask is that you listen, contemplate and respect my position, but instead, more often than not I get a snide remark such as, " I'm a (Prestigious School) student!" as if this is proof that you are far more intelligent and superior to me. Well, I don't care where you go to school or what your g.p.a. is if you can't figure out a 3 hole punch!

*sigh. I worry about the future of humanity.